Every Indian wedding is one-of-a-kind. An Indian wedding has a lot of different flavors, from the musical Jaggo and Dholki rites in a Punjabi wedding to the very gorgeous Mekhela Chador donned by an Assamese bride, the In a Kannada wedding, the happy Kashi Yatra is compared to the royal Mahira Dastoor ritual in a Rajput wedding. This is owed in great part to India’s numerous civilizations, each of which is steeped in tradition. And it’s because of this that they’re all so seductive. Once you have a deeper understanding of the traditions, you will fall in love with the beauty of these weddings.
So, here’s a complete and accurate portrayal of a typical Bengali wedding.
Ashirbad
Following the announcement of the wedding date, both families visit each other’s homes to bless the bride and groom. Aashirbaad is a Bengali variation of the Sagai, or engagement ritual, in which the bride and groom do not exchange rings. Instead, their future in-laws shower them with gold jewellery, clothes, and sweets. Fish, betel leaves, betel nut, and curd are also customarily presented as auspicious gifts during Bengali marriages.
Ai Buro Bhaat
In this Bengali wedding tradition, the bride and groom are offered their last bachelor feasts in their respective homes. The bride/favorite groom’s foods, including all delectable Bengali cuisine, are normally prepared by the mother, who is then followed by delectable sweets.
Holud Kota & Dhan Kota
One day before the wedding, five or seven or nine (must be an odd number) married ladies use grinding stones to make Haldi paste from raw turmeric sticks. The ayo is the lady who holds the grinding stone, and the other women simply hold her hands or elbows as she grinds.
Ganga Nemontron & Kola Gach Nemontron
On the same evening as Holud Kota’s wedding, the family’s women proceed to “invite” the Ganges to the wedding. Obtain permission to use the water at the wedding instead. The women hold trays with bananas, betel leaves and almonds, Sindoor, and other goods while marching in this procession. A Banana tree is also invited after the Ganga is greeted, and an unbloomed plantain leaf from the tree is taken and tied to a Dorpon(mirror).
Dodhi Mongol & Jol Tola
Before they begin all of the wedding rites, the mother of the groom and bride tenderly serves them curd, puffed rice, and sweets before morning. They can’t eat anything else for the rest of the day since they have to fast until the wedding is over. At the same time, a second group of ladies heads to the aforementioned Ganges/river/water reservoir to collect water for the wedding bathing. All of this has to happen before the sun rises.
Bridhhi & Nandi Mukh
The wedding ceremony Pandit performs a Puja devoted to the bride’s seven ancestral generations, asking for their blessings, alongside Lord Narayan. This is known as a Nandi Mukh in a Bengali wedding. The same Puja is performed at the groom’s house, followed by a few stages. A small amount of previously ground Haldi and rice is used in the Puja, after which the groom is bathed in Ganga water after applying some turmerics. The same Haldi is then transported to the bride’s house, where she must use it for her Gaye Holud (which has been touched by the groom).
Gaye Holud
The groom’s turmeric paste, as well as the wedding Tattoo of clothing, sweets, Paan-Supari, and fish are sent to the bride’s family. The women of the family apply the same Haldi to the bride. The bride takes bath with ganga water. During the Haldi, a Bengali bride traditionally wears a cotton yellow saree. Haldi dabbing is a fun activity to do with family and friends.
RITUALS OF WEDDINGS
Now let’s take a deeper look at the most important Bengali wedding rituals:
Dorpon to Bor Jatri
Before the groom is sent out to the wedding mandap, his mother delivers him the Dorpon (a charm that is said to ward off evil), which he has to wear throughout the wedding. The mother then blesses him and binds crimson threads and a Tulsi Mala around his neck in preparation for his future adventure. With the exception of the bride’s mother, who is required to wait until the bride arrives, the Bor Jatri or Baraat then proceeds to the wedding.
Chhele Boron to Bostro Daan
Boron is a Bengali word that means “welcome” in English. The bride’s mother performs the Chhele Boron (or greet the husband) with sweets and water while everyone else plays the holy Conch shell and does Ulludhwani. The groom is then given Bostro (new garments) and Angti (gold ring) by the bride’s father, which he must wear throughout the wedding.
Saat Paak & Shubho Drishti
After the bride is carried to the wedding mandap wearing two betel leaves over her face, Saat Paak takes place. The groom’s brothers or relatives typically carry her in a Peerhi or wooden seat (similar to a Butta wedding) and form seven circles around him. On Shubho Drishti, the bride and husband stare at each other three times after this Saat Paak is completed. The Mala Bodol or Jaimala ceremony, which is lively and quite enjoyable, follows.
Kanyadan or Sampradan
The bride’s father extends his hand to the groom and ties the sacred knot with both of their robes while the groom and bride sit face to face. In a Bengali wedding, this is the Kanyadan rite, also known as Sampradan. The groom promises the bride’s father that he would take care of his daughter for the rest of his life by chanting mantras.
BASHI BIYE RITUALS
There are two groups of Bengalis who practice Bashi Biye in slightly distinct ways. Those from East Bengal origin (now Bangladesh) are referred to as “Bangaal,” while those with West Bengal ancestry are referred to as “Ghoti.” Both perform the following ceremonies, albeit with notable differences:
Snan Bashi Biye
This is mainly exclusively observed at Bangaal marriages. The next morning, while standing atop a Peerhi, the groom and bride take a bath together. The groom then puts on the outfit he wore to the wedding, while the bride puts on the outfit her in-laws gave her.
Yagnya, Sindoor Daan & Surja Pranam
The wedding Pandit sings mantras during the Yagnya, a Bengali wedding tradition. After Yagnya, the groom uses a ring, a Dorpon, or a little cane box to apply vermillion on the bride’s hair parting. After Sindoor Daan, Surya Pronam is the third phase. This occurs the following morning at a Bangaal wedding.
Khoi Fela & Saptapadi
The bride takes a position in front of the husband, as her brother prepares a dish of puffed rice. The couple then pours the contents of the platter into the holy fire as a group. This ritual is repeated three times. The sacred Saptapadi, also known as the Saat phere, is the final stage. The couple steps on Paan and presses grinding stones with their feet seven times around the Yagnya fire.
